7 June 2013

Road rules of Malaysia

by S Kuta Rider

  1. Those dotted white lines down the middle of roads are scooter lanes. No cars can cross them at any point. If cars do cross them, even with plenty of forewarning, we will beep and glare at you
  2. The hard shoulder is also a lane for scooters.
  3. If we cannot get down a road, we will go on the pavement. Pavements are primarily for scooters, and pedestrians need to ensure they get out of our way.
  4. We can travel whichever way we like down a road - just because everyone else is going in one direction, doesn't mean we have to.
  5. Cars and vans need to drive in straight lines. Scooters can weave around as much as we like.
  6. If we drive past you when the traffic is slow, we can then slow down when the traffic speeds up, and stay in the centre of your lane so you cannot get past us. 
  7. At traffic lights, we may gather in a huge group at the stop line - once we have gone past you in our scooter lane, of course.
  8. At traffic lights, the lane we are in is not indicative of the direction we are going in.
  9. A red traffic light only means stop if you are not a scooter rider. We can go through them whenever we like.
  10. A scooter is an appropriate vehicle for any number of people from one to four.
  11. Indicators on scooters are purely for special occasions eg Chinese New Year and Hari Raya.
  12. Jackets worn backwards are extremely stylish.
  13. If we knock your car mirror when going past you, it is your fault.
  14. If we crash into you it is your fault.
  15. In fact, anything that happens on the road is your fault, not ours.